The Death of One of our Most Cherished Marital Beliefs

Some of you won’t like what I have to say here. In fact, if you consider yourself “a romantic”, this article might initially anger you. But, please read the entire article prior to chiding me with your remarks in the comment section! Honestly, understanding this concept can save marriages!
The Myth of the “Soul Mate”



The “soul mate myth” is a well beloved myth indeed. Those that hold this expectation generally believe that there is one, and only one, right person to marry – their soul mate.
The idea of a soul mate is quite a romantic notion and has been the plot of countless cherished books and movies. But, please pay attention to me – this myth is incredibly dangerous. Let me explain!
Dangers Caused by the “Soul Mate” Myth
There is one major hazard for those who prescribe to this myth. Those who assume that marital bliss is a result of finding their one “soul mate” dangerously shift responsibility away from improving themselves or nurturing their marriage.
In other words, rather than working hard on our own individual improvement and working equally hard at nurturing our marriage, we can be tempted to assign all the blame to the spouse.
A 2014 study noted that couples either view their marriages as “destiny” or “growth”. Couples that view their marriage as “destiny” generally believe that their spouse is their “soul mate”. One of these researchers, Dr. Spike W. S. Lee, noted the following during a recent interview:
“If we are soul mates, then nothing will go wrong in our relationship, and it will be easy. A conflict makes a destiny-believer question whether the current partner is actually their soul mate, and then they give up on working it out,”
Too often “destiny” couples who are not happily married (though they had ironically once believed that their spouse was their soul mate), simply believe they were duped and that they didn’t marry their soul mate after all. Somewhere, their soul mate must still surely exist.........................................................................................

Click --->HERE<--- to read entire article.