That kind of marriage

Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds.

FORGIVENESS IN THE MIDST OF TRAUMA

All of us on the train huddled together in the middle section away from the windows hoping to not be discovered by whoever was putting us in danger. My friend and I desperately embraced each other in silence as we horrifyingly awaited our fate. I heard everyone gasp. When I turned my head, I suddenly became petrified as I watched the gunman enter our refuge.

Thankfully, I woke up before I dreamt anything further.

This nightmare is an example from my own life of what secondary trauma looks like.

I awoke from this after learning the day before about the two separate shootings that happened in Orlando this past weekend—the first killing young singer Christina Grimmie after her concert, and the second occurring just hours later at the nightclub leaving 49 dead and 53 wounded. While reading up on both cases, I felt immense sorrow for the victims who were killed knowing they experienced such terror in their last moments. I also felt absolutely distraught for their loved ones who now have to mourn their loss by going through a most difficult grieving process.

As I continued reading different opinions of what others had to say about these intentional disasters, trying to make sense of what they are feeling and put it into words, I realized that the rest of the world, although not directly affected, could now suffer secondary trauma from this event. This means that we will feel similar symptoms as those who go through post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after hearing about the firsthand trauma experiences by others.

I have recognized my own symptoms making themselves known to me the past couple of days............................................................................................

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THE IMPORTANCE OF FATHERS

When I was a child, I wanted to be just like my dad. If he asked for mustard on his sandwich, I asked for mustard on mine. If he liked watching Star Trek, then so did I. It really didn’t matter what it was, I thought my dad was the greatest and wanted to be just like him. Why? Because fathers are important.

Now as I a mother of many children, I get to watch my husband interact with my children. I don’t always understand why he interacts with our children the way he does. Occasionally, I am tempted to intervene and coerce my husband into interacting with our children in a proper motherly fashion, but I know that kids need the interactions of both a mother and a father. Kids need mom speak and dad speak. They understand both and when they get both, they are happier and smarter, and better adjusted.

Here are some well-known Father Facts...................................................

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A KEY TO HAPPINESS

It has been said that if you want to see where our society currently stands on the social spectrum, look to the popular TV shows that are being aired. I haven’t watched very much television at all the past few years, so I decided to do my research to see what I’ve been missing, and I was amazed with what I found. Do you know how hard it is now to find a TV series based on a family where both husband and wife are raising their family together? You will find plenty of shows with complicated family situations, or without any families at all—just individuals desiring a life of solitude.

Is this really the projection we want for our society?

Gallup trends have revealed that not only are fewer young adults married, but that there are also fewer in committed relationships. Those who are single and not living with anyone have risen from 52% in 2004 to 64% in 2014. Many believe that avoiding committed relationships will bring them more self-gratification and happiness, but wisdom would say otherwise.

We need others in our lives in order to be truly happy......................................

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LET THE POKÉMON GO CRAZE STRENGTHEN YOUR FAMILY

GET UP, GET OUT, AND EXPLORE!

This is the message the new Pokémon GO app is promoting, emphasizing that you “get on your feet and step outside to…explore cities and towns where you live–and even around the globe” in order to catch as many Pokémon as you can.

John Hanke, the mastermind behind this craze, also put it this way: “I’m not sure Pokémon Go is something new, so much as a new take on something that’s been around for a long time. Which is people wanting things they can do together socially, to give people an excuse to get out and socialize with other people, which at the end of the day makes us feel good.”

Many of us have criticized this idea as we have seen hordes of Pokémon GO gamers with their phones out playing in popular public locations. We have assumed that the app is only helping users stay absorbed in their own cellular devices rather than meeting and socializing with others around them.

The augmented reality game has also generated all kinds of criticism in how it is creating dangerous situations, such as the reported robberies and carjacks that have happened this past week. When asked if he, as a publisher of virtual worlds, has new responsibilities now that lines between imaginary and real worlds have overlapped like this, Hanke replied, “We’ll continue to try to do our best to guide people in the right direction as people’s thinking about this evolves.”

However, after learning about the good that has come from this overnight phenomenon–which is already generating over $2 million daily in in-app purchases–I can’t help but think that we are on the cusp of a great new age that will be a benefit for our children.
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PRAISE THEIR EFFORTS

According to a Columbia University survey, 85 percent of American parents feel it is important to tell their kids they are smart.

It seems honorable, but is praising your children for their intelligence really the smart thing to do in the long run?

Research has shown that praising children for their effort will help them become more successful than praising them for their intelligence.

When Carol Dweck, the woman who pioneered the research on the effects of praise, was a professor at Columbia, she and her team studied the effects of praise on 400 New York fifth-graders. Children would be taken out of the classroom for a nonverbal IQ test consisting of a series of puzzles that were easy enough for all the children to do at least somewhat well. After the first round, the researchers would tell each student their score and then give them a single line of praise.  Randomly divided into groups, some students were told after receiving their score, “You must be smart at this,” and to the other students: “You must have worked really hard,” the first group being praised for their intelligence and the latter for their effort.

For the second round, the students were given a choice
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